I've Got My Doubts

 This Sunday, “Doubting Thomas” makes his annual appearance in the lectionary cycle. I know that it has become fashionable to say that we shouldn’t label Thomas as a doubter, but let’s get real. Thomas had his reservations about the things the other disciples were telling him about their encounter with the risen Jesus. Thomas, for some reason, was not there when Jesus showed up. Perhaps he went out for coffee or maybe the kids had a soccer game. When he heard that Jesus had shown up while he was away, he said to them, "Unless I see the mark of the nails in his hands, and put my finger in the mark of the nails and my hand in his side, I will not believe."

Notice what John says: A week later his disciples were again in the house, and Thomas was with them. Although the doors were shut, Jesus came and stood among them and said, "Peace be with you." A week later. This is no random gathering of the friends of Jesus. This is a worship experience. This is a Christian community gathering to experience the presence of Jesus. And this time, Thomas is present when Jesus shows up. What happens next is important. He invites Thomas to touch the wounds. He invites him to express and explore his doubt. In so doing, Thomas is able to make a confession of faith: “My Lord and my God!”

I’m struck by what Jesus says to Thomas. "Have you believed because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have come to believe." Rather than praising those who come to faith without any kind of physical proof, I wonder if Jesus could be saying that those who come to this confession of faith without doubts and struggles and the wounds of are quite fortunate. They’re fortunate because the vast majority of us live lives that are touched by pain, disappointment and doubt. The vast majority of us need a Christ-like community like Thomas experienced. A Christ-like community welcomes questions, doubts, and reservations. Doubters are allowed to “poke around” if you will. Leaders in a Christ-like community are willing to share their own wounds and vulnerabilities. Perhaps one of the most important things leaders can say is: “I don’t know.” If the cross teaches us anything, it’s that vulnerability can lead to new life.

I’ve watched with admiration and appreciation what Clint Schnekloth and the folks at Good Shepherd Lutheran Church in Fayetteville, Arkansas have done with their catechumenal process this year. They invited doubters, thinkers, believers and skeptics into a conversation about life in Christ in a safe and welcoming environment. This conversation led a number of folks to the waters of baptism and to a renewed commitment to follow Jesus.  

I’ve got an emerging evangelical itch to do the same at Holy Cross. In the meantime, this Sunday we’re beginning a four-week sermon series on doubt because I believe that it’s important to recognize and affirm those, like Thomas, who need a safe space to say, “I have my doubts.” From what I can tell, at least according to John’s account, that freedom to question can lead to a confession of faith…week after week after week.